Flying Ninja Monkey Tears (1 ampule)
USPS (APO/FPO, PO Box, International, Domestic), FedEx Ground/Express (Domestic, International)
New Flying Ninja Monkey Tears: Limited Supply!
Ask any bodybuilder and they'll tell you that the most myotropic substance available today are the rare tears of a flying monkey. The problem: flying monkeys have become scarce due to the harsh treatments from Hollywood, causing a massive decline in population from entertainment exploitation and corporate greed.
Now on the endangered species list, the wondrous myotropic properties of the rare flying monkey tear has become legend; and often spoken as mythical lore. Never again has this legendary substance been available to mere mortal men.
NutraPlanet has been breeding cage free Flying Monkeys -- raised on organic-antibiotic free, black angus beef and pure filtered water. Our Flying Monkeys are far superior in stature and potency due to their intense ninja training and precision supplementation*, yielding a proprietary specialized extract of tears far superior to any other brand.
Don't Be Deceived by the Imitators or the Haters!
Many substandard and shady retailers have attempted to imitate and even pass off their own brand of Flying Monkeys but independent lab testing conducted at the NutraPlanetarium™ has revealed these are simply genetically modified non-flying chimpanzees…pathetic!
Jealous retailers who are unable to (or unwilling to) take the time and passion to breed a super specie of Flying Ninja Monkey have spread unsubstantiated lies discrediting the time-tested and proven track record of these naturally occurring myotropic constituents.
NutraPlanet Flying Ninja Monkey Tears: The New Standard
NutraPlanet Flying Ninja Monkey Tears are humanely cultivated and certified by 3rd party qualitative/quantitative testing and free from heavy metals and microbials. NutraPlanet has set the precedence for quality, purity, and potency of Flying Ninja Monkey Tears. Never Settle for Less!
*Flying Ninja Monkeys use only GMP NutraPlanet® Bulk Powders: Independently 3rd party tested for identity, potency, heavy metals, and microbials!
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Worth the walls of screaming spiders... By: Michael
Review posted on: 2011-02-21 11:06:12 -0500
After crawling through the necrotunnels of Kbr'Trercht and vanquishing the powerful sorcerer Agthranthsreth and his hordes of soul-liquefying seven legged oblivion hounds, I finally found the one remaining source of Nutraplanetâ€™s famed Flying Ninja Monkey Tears. Shivering with anticipation, I chanted the seventh unknown incantation necessary to prevent the monkey tears from scattering my body across the seventh dimension. The quest was long and hard, but they were finally mine. I pulsed the flying ninja monkey tears on an EOD schedule. Never have I seen such vascularity or size gains. After this cycle, I weigh in at around 465,311 pounds, with 95% of that being lean mass gains. Yesterday, I hit a new bench PR, at 1,000,050,000,004 pounds. Obviously, this stuff works. So when youâ€™re quaking with fear at the sight of the onyx plated spear-demon known as Trchtâ€™grorth, waiver not, for the body youâ€™re looking for is not far beyond his terrifying gaze.
RIP - Gary Coleman By: William (Beau)
Review posted on: 2012-02-01 15:50:57 -0500
If only Gary Coleman (yes, THAT Gary Coleman) would have been able to take Flying Ninja Monkey Tears he would noy have dies. If may have even helped reverse his nephritis.
High five sharks and punch gorillas By: Chad
Review posted on: 2012-01-26 06:01:23 -0500
I started taking a full ampule of flying ninja monkey tears every night before bed, and I'd get up the next morning, punch my pet gorilla in the face and go high five my great white shark before eating a breakfast of nails and barbed wire. This supplement changed my life. I've finally become all the things I ever wanted to be. I cured death and sold it to Keith Richards, impregnated the entire country of China, and started a career as a porn star known as "The Harpoon." Thanks Nutraplanet!
nutra planet you funny monkeys By: Gavin
Review posted on: 2011-05-02 07:50:32 -0400
what your out of stock? but i need the monkey tears to really hit that extra rep in the gym. Nothing better than a dose of flying monkey ninja tears before a workout